Personal Statement of Faith

Firstly, let me start by saying that the older I get the more uncertain I become about how smart I am. I don’t mean to say I’m dumb (I know God gave me a good brain), just prone to mistakes and in desperate need of grace. I am increasingly grateful to a loving God who has shown Himself to be faithful, even when I’m not, and who seems committed to not letting me ‘fall through the cracks.’

I met Jesus when I was very young. I know that sounds weird, but the truth is...I was raised in a home where he was very present...and certainly welcome. I was aware of him, through introduction, but it wasn’t until Jr. High that I began to really experience him. By experience, I mean that I believed I knew when he was speaking to me...not audibly, but through my thoughts. At first, the thoughts were just about his love for me, and his desire to know me.

I didn’t know at the time that I had ADD, but years later a psychologist told me that he saw that I had found ways to cope with my ADD rather than turning to some sort of addiction, which is so common to people with ADD. I know that it was my confidence in God’s love for me that got me through that time, and helped me to cope with the difficulties I was experiencing. (I’ve had my share of doubts and dark days!) My relationship with God has taught me that Love (God’s love) is the Savior I need. Jesus’ death on a cross, and my willingness to accept, and embrace that grace has changed me.

Over the years, I’ve learned that there are a great many issues that I don’t fully understand, but Love is something I do understand. God’s love has been there for me...through years of being single and lonely, and then through years of physical struggles, and dealing with a child who wasn’t born ‘normal’. Through all of those times God was there for me. I felt Him...sometimes almost physically, and it is the only thing that helps me to cope with my ongoing health and personal growth struggles. I can tell you that in my darkest moments...and there have been plenty, I have experienced a peace, often when people around me expected me to fall apart, and I just couldn’t because it has been like I was in a cocoon of God’s love. (Sometimes I would foolishly ignore God, and the consequence was that the peace would go away, and I would be left alone to cope.)

I have learned that God’s love doesn’t require me to be perfect...God is slowly working on me. And God certainly doesn’t want me to look for perfection in others...although He does want me to look for potential in them, and look for ways to encourage that. I am to be God’s love to others.

Sadly, I fail at that often. But, I will keep trying, because I am the recipient of such amazing grace and love, I cannot turn my back on that...and pretend it doesn’t matter. I use to doubt God’s very existence from time to time, but I don’t now. Too much has happened. And though, like in any other relationship, when I fail Him I can feel a distance growing between us...I don’t ever want that divide to become permanent or complete. So, I choose to follow...what sometimes doesn’t make sense to me, but which always turns out to be the best for me... God’s Love and great grace.

May God bless you all! I hope you seek Him!